East London dads are enjoying taking part in weekly football sessions that are helping to tackle paternal depression and support them as they adjust to their new life as a parent.
The sessions have been taking place at Becontree Health Leisure Centre in Dagenham since July, and are seeing more and more dads take part each week.
They have been set up and are funded by Havering MIND and are aimed at dads with children aged under three years who are able to talk about their feelings in a safe space while they have fun and keep fit through football.
The idea came from Andre Duffus, who runs a project called ‘Dads in Mind’ in Barking and Dagenham which supports dads during the perinatal stage and helps them navigate through feelings of stress, depression and anxiety.
Andre said: “I thought of ways that could possibly engage fathers by doing an activity that will keep then fit and also help their mental health or any problems that they may be facing at that time, but also not taking them away for long periods of time from the home just in case their partners have been at home all day with the children.
“So it was just thinking of something that could have an impact and be helpful but also gives them the ability to go back home with a new skill and a new tool that they can try out to support their partners or their wives at this critical time.”
Andre explained that the sessions usually start with the group catching up, checking in with each other and speaking about any challenges they are experiencing as a dad.
He said: “These are discussions that we have before football, we then ask the dads to think about one thing that they would like to change and that they’re going to take away and change when they go home.
“Then we play football and then we wrap up by saying, ‘do you now feel comfortable that you can now implement these things into your home?’”
Dagenham dad, Adrian van Schalkwyk has been attending the sessions since July and has enjoyed meeting other fathers in the area and setting time aside each week to play football.
Adrian said: “For dads especially I think it’s hard to have someone to talk to whenever you’re facing challenges or there’s difficult things and you’re not sure how to navigate it.
“I think as dads or guys in general, we really struggle to actually talk about what we’re going through unless there’s usually something else to do. Guys don’t generally sit down or go for a coffee and talk about their life or what’s been happening.”
He added: “I think the set up works really well for dads, they can go and talk for a bit and then what’s nice is the football afterwards is a release – you can move on from things, you get to have fun and communicate with other guys and just enjoy.
“It’s nice, it doesn’t put too much of a burden on the stuff we talk about because sometimes guys do share things that can be a bit heavy, so the football helps things move a bit forward.”
According to research, up to 1 in 10 dads can experience depression and feelings of anxiety during the pregnancy or after birth, but many fathers may experience barriers when it comes to seeking help.
Adrian agreed, and said: “I think a lot of guys feel like if they do talk about it, they’re going to be judged or it’s not going to be taken seriously so there needs to be more of a light shined on it.
“This is a topic that probably should be spoken about more, I hope with things like this if this does get expanded and moved into other areas hopefully it will break that stigma with men speaking about things that they’re struggling with – it shouldn’t be embarrassing and shouldn’t be seen as a weakness and taken as a negative.”
Andre added: “It’s not spoken about nearly enough, something like this needs to be spoken about as early as intercourse because lets say for example no one takes on board the emotional factors that come with having a child, you can be raised from two different backgrounds and you have to work out the middle ground that’s going to work for you two.”
The football sessions originally received funding for one month, but because they have been so successful the leisure centre, which is managed by Everyone Active and is in partnership with Barking and Dagenham Council, is working on securing funding so the sessions can continue for the next few months.
Hasan Romel, area contract manager at Everyone Active, said: “The football sessions are a fantastic opportunity for dads of young children to take care of their mental health whilst engaging in a much-loved sport.
“Whether you’re a seasoned player or just looking to dust off your football boots, we encourage you to come along, have a chat and enjoy a friendly game with likeminded dads.”
Dads who are interested in taking part can email becontreeactivities@everyoneactive.com.
