When Sonny Ali speaks about his wife, the word that lands again and again is anchor. “She’s not just my wife she’s my best friend,” he says, reflecting on four decades of marriage to Shaheen. “With her calmness… she really made my journey easier.”
Sonny’s family story is rooted in Bradford’s migration history. His grandfather arrived in 1958 to work in the mills; his father followed in 1961, a teenager with big ambitions who decided to build a future here rather than earn and return. He hustled washing cars, doing paper rounds, even a job on the buses until he saved enough to buy a house and rent out rooms. Property followed: shops, flats, bedsits.
Sonny himself was born in Pakistan in 1966 and joined the family in Bradford two years later. By the age of ten he was already trailing his father to property viewings on weekends. Builders who struggled with “Zulfiqar” simply called him “Mr Ali’s son.” The nickname “Sonny” stuck, and with it came a determination to follow in his father’s footsteps.
A marriage that began with razzmatazz
Marriage came young. At 18, on his grandfather’s advice, Sonny met Shaheen. “She was the person to calm me down,” he laughs. They married in 1985 in what Sonny still calls “one of the biggest weddings in Bradford,” with around 3,000 guests at the Hilton. His father invited everyone from the milkman to the newsagent to celebrate.
The newlyweds opened a restaurant (on the site later known as Nawab) while Sonny continued in property. Even in those early days, he says, he and Shaheen agreed on one non-negotiable: education. “Whether we have girls or boys, I want them very educated,” he told her. Together they raised five children, now a solicitor, a tax inspector, a teacher, a lawyer managing the properties, and an accountant each involved in the family’s ventures today.
The darkest valley
The path to stability was not straightforward. By his thirties, Sonny was managing six nursing homes while his father expanded the property empire. But when regulations tightened and the recession bit, the care-home income collapsed. Tensions at home escalated. In what Sonny describes as devastating, his father “a man of success and profit” removed him from the business.
“I had nothing left,” Sonny recalls. “My properties gone, the car lot gone, and a massive mortgage. Five children in private schools. It was the hardest time of our life.”
Stress tore through the household. Shaheen’s health faltered; Sonny battled anxiety and depression. Friends and relatives drifted away. “Good times, everyone wants to be on your bus,” he says. “Bad times, they all jump off.”
One bright constant was the support of Bradford’s Bombay Stores family “They stood by us through thick and thin” and Shaheen’s quiet resilience.
“She had to adjust, to mould herself,” Sonny says, describing the challenges of entering a proud, business-first household. “She faced difficulties with in-laws, but she had faith in my love. That made her strong.”
Faith, rebuilding, and priorities reset
Sonny clawed his way back by leveraging contacts and skills organising builders, taking on private projects and gradually rebuilding on his own terms. He later reconciled with his father but remained cautious. “I worked with him, but I didn’t hand over my future.”
The family’s faith provided a compass. Together they performed Umrah in 2009 and Hajj in 2010, moments Sonny describes as life-defining. “Today, with Allah’s blessings, the kids are established, the business is doing well, and I can focus on people, on PR, on giving back.”
Lessons in partnership
Ask Sonny for the secret of a long marriage and he doesn’t hesitate: “Love, trust, and respect.” Then he adds the practical details: communication and time. “If the week is mad, take the weekend. Go out together. Talk.”
He warns young couples against rushing. “Study each other. Know the strengths and weaknesses. That can take years,” he says. In his view, marriage isn’t just about surviving the good days, it’s about preparing for the bad ones too. “Stand together in adversity. Treat challenges as joint projects, not blame games.”
For Sonny, patience is a virtue and adaptability a necessity. Different upbringings mean different defaults “you have to mould together” and without that flexibility, couples fall apart. Just as vital, he says, is vision. “Every couple should ask: where do we want to be in five years? In ten? What kind of home will we build? How will we educate our children? Do we run a business or work for someone else?”
To him, these questions aren’t abstract; they are the daily bricks of a strong marriage. “Trust each other, respect each other, and speak openly. If you do that, you’re not just husband and wife, you’re partners and friends.”
Celebrating 40 years
This month, before flying to Pakistan in mid-October, the family will celebrate with a few close relatives and friends “the ones who supported us over the years.” Expect speeches from the children, a DJ, and a soundtrack that includes favourites from the film Baghban.
Looking back, Sonny even finds gratitude for the fall. “If it hadn’t happened, maybe I’d be flying around the world wasting money,” he admits. “Instead, it brought us together. We all pulled through, as a team.”
He pauses, then returns to the theme that has anchored every chapter: “She’s my hard rock. That’s what partnership means after 40 years.”
Glossary
Umrah – A pilgrimage to Makkah (Mecca), Saudi Arabia, which can be performed at any time of the year. It is shorter than the Hajj and considered highly rewarding in Islam.
Hajj – The major Islamic pilgrimage to Makkah, one of the Five Pillars of Islam. Every Muslim who is physically and financially able is expected to perform it at least once in their lifetime, during the specific days of Dhul Hijjah in the Islamic calendar.
Hilton (Bradford) – At the time, one of the city’s landmark hotels, often used for large community weddings and events.
Baghban – A popular 2003 Bollywood film starring Amitabh Bachchan and Hema Malini. Its theme of enduring love and respect between an older couple resonates with many families. Sonny and Shaheen count one of its songs among their favourites.
In-laws – A term commonly used in South Asian communities to refer to the extended family a spouse marries into, often carrying cultural expectations and challenges.
