Imagine going to an Islamic scholar because your marriage has broken down. You are emotionally shattered, worried about your children and desperate to put your family back together. You go looking for Islamic guidance. Then imagine the very person you trust for religious advice telling you that you need to marry another man, sleep with him and get divorced before you can return to your former husband. Even worse, imagine that scholar offering to become that man himself. If that doesn’t shock us, then something is seriously wrong.
This practice is commonly known as halala, and it is time our Muslim community talked about it openly. Islam takes marriage and divorce extremely seriously. If a couple reaches an irrevocable third divorce, they cannot simply change their minds the following morning and carry on as though nothing happened. But there is a massive difference between a woman later entering a genuine second marriage which eventually breaks down and deliberately finding someone to marry her, consummate the marriage and then divorce her so she can return to husband number one.
A genuine marriage is meant to be a real relationship between two people. It should never be reduced to a planned sexual transaction. Yet there have been disturbing reports and allegations over the years of religious figures themselves offering to become the temporary husband. That should concern every Muslim, particularly because of the position of trust these individuals hold.
Think about the woman involved. She may be frightened, confused and emotionally vulnerable. She has approached someone she believes understands Islam better than she does. When he tells her something is religiously necessary, she may feel unable to challenge him. That is an enormous imbalance of power.
If any imam, scholar or religious adviser uses that position of trust to persuade a vulnerable woman into a pre-arranged marriage for this purpose, we should not hide behind complicated religious language. It is an abuse of religious authority. Religion must never become a cover for exploiting vulnerable women.
Of course, we should not paint every Muslim scholar with the same brush. Many decent and respected scholars strongly condemn deliberately arranged halala marriages. They spend countless hours helping struggling couples and protecting families. But those good scholars should also be the loudest voices challenging anyone who misuses Islam or their position of religious authority.
There is another side to this debate that we cannot ignore. Why does so much of the burden fall upon the woman? What about the husband who caused the situation by throwing around the word talaq during an argument?
Some Muslim men desperately need to understand that talaq is not a weapon. You cannot threaten your wife with divorce every time you lose your temper and then, when you calm down, run to an imam asking how you can get her back. Marriage is not a game. Divorce has consequences. A woman’s body should never become the price she has to pay for a man’s anger and irresponsible behaviour.
Our mosques also need to do much more. We spend thousands of pounds on Muslim weddings: expensive halls, designer clothes, luxury cars, photographers and huge meals. Yet how much time and money do we spend preparing young people for the reality of marriage?
Before couples get married, they should understand communication, patience, financial responsibility, anger management, domestic abuse, controlling behaviour, conflict resolution and the consequences of divorce. Prevention is far better than desperately searching for religious loopholes once a family has already fallen apart.
Mosques and Islamic institutions dealing with marriage and divorce should also have proper safeguarding procedures. A vulnerable woman seeking religious advice should never find herself in a situation where the man advising her can suddenly become the man she is expected to marry. That boundary should not even need explaining.
Muslim women must also be encouraged to question religious advice. If somebody tells you, “Islam says you have to do this,” ask them to show you the evidence. Seek another opinion. Speak to a reputable scholar. Having a beard, wearing religious clothing or carrying the title of imam or scholar does not make someone beyond questioning.
Too often, our community becomes defensive when uncomfortable issues are raised. We worry that speaking publicly about our problems will damage the image of Muslims.
I believe the opposite.
Speaking about exploitation does not damage Islam. Allowing exploitation to continue in the name of Islam does.
We cannot demand safeguarding and accountability from schools, hospitals, councils, police forces and governments while refusing to demand the same standards from our own religious institutions.
Our daughters, sisters and mothers deserve better. A woman whose marriage has collapsed needs compassion, independent advice and protection. She should never become an opportunity for someone who holds religious authority.
And if any religious figure uses Islam and a woman’s desperation for his own benefit, our response must be clear: do not protect him, do not make excuses for him and do not silence the woman. Challenge him and hold him accountable.
Islamic scholarship is a position of trust. It should be used to guide people and protect the vulnerable, never to exploit them.
