We celebrate our elders, cherish our traditions, and take deep pride in who we are as a community. However, within these bonds of belonging, there is a conversation we have not yet had loudly enough. A conversation about what happens when the name of ‘honour’ is used to control, threaten, or harm those we love.
‘Honour’-based abuse is any incident that involves violence, threats, control, intimidation or abuse where ‘honour’ is used as an excuse.
‘Honour’-based abuse is not a traditional practice. It is harmful behaviour and can be a crime, affecting thousands of people across England every year. With the vast majority of whom suffer in silence because they do not know that what is happening to them is abuse and has a name, or because they fear the consequences of speaking out.
What does ‘honour’-based abuse look like?
‘Honour’-based abuse is an umbrella term that can include many forms of harmful and criminal behaviour:
- Forced marriage — illegal and a serious crime, regardless of whether it is a civil or religious ceremony
- Coercive or controlling behaviour, physical violence, and emotional abuse
- Female genital mutilation (FGM)
- Isolation from friends and family, or being prevented from accessing education and employment
- Having passports or identity documents withheld
- Threats to kill, or pressure to travel or move abroad
- Virginity testing and hymenoplasty — harmful practices that are illegal in the UK
These are not family matters to be kept private. They are violations of human rights. If they are happening to you, or to someone you know, it is important to know that confidential, non-judgmental support is available.
The scale of the problem
Nearly 3,000 ‘honour’-based abuse offences were recorded by police in England and Wales in the year ending March 2025. Specialists warn this figure represents only a fraction of actual cases. Many people living with ‘honour’-based abuse do not recognise it as such, especially when it is framed as love, as family expectation, or as upholding tradition.
Abuse does not always begin with violence, but with pressure, about how you dress, who you speak to, who you choose to marry, or whether your choices will bring shame on the family. These experiences can feel like a normal part of family life. However, being controlled, threatened, or harmed in the name of ‘honour’ is a violation of your human rights, and it is something you never have to accept.
Breaking the silence
Talking openly about these issues can feel like one of the hardest things to do. Many men, women and children share that the fear of being seen as disloyal — to family, to community, to tradition — makes it difficult to name what is happening. Shame is not ours to carry. It belongs to those who use ‘honour’ to harm.
“‘Honour’-based abuse often exists in silence, with many experiencing it without ever realising it is abuse. Raising awareness is vital – it validates those experiences, challenges harmful norms, and makes clear that support is available and deserved”
Natasha Rattu, Executive Director at Karma Nirvana
Every one of us can help
When we talk about these issues in a safe space, with our friends, our siblings, our parents, we create the conditions for protection, and for change. When we protect the most vulnerable among us, we protect the soul of our community.
People suffer because they do not realise what is happening to them has a name, that it can be illegal, and that support is available. If you or someone you know is affected by ‘honour’-based abuse, please know you are not alone, and there are people who will listen without judgement.
Confidential support is available:
Karma Nirvana
A specialist charity for victims and survivors of ‘honour’-based abuse in the UK. National ‘Honour’-Based Abuse (HBA) Helpline: 0800 5999 247
Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm
Visit: karmanirvana.org.uk
Safe Arms
A charity that provides support for victims of domestic abuse.
Visit: safearms.org.uk
Forced Marriage Unit
020 7008 0151 to speak to the GOV.UK Forced Marriage Unit.
The Halo Project
A national project that supports victims of honour-based violence, forced marriages and FGM by providing advice and support.
Visit: haloproject.org.uk
Savera UK
A charity that supports victims and survivors of ‘honour’-based abuse and harmful practices in the UK.
Visit: saverauk.co.uk
