There is an uncomfortable truth within parts of Britain’s South Asian community that many people are reluctant to discuss. Some families struggle to pay their bills in Britain, yet when they visit Pakistan, India or Bangladesh, they behave as though they are millionaires.
In Britain, they count every penny. Back home, they spend money as though there is no tomorrow. Here, they worry about mortgages, rent, electricity bills and putting food on the table. Yet the moment they land in their ancestral homeland, some suddenly become wealthy businessmen, landlords and important personalities.
It is almost as though they are living two different lives: one of financial struggle in Britain and another of wealth and status back home.
Walk through parts of Bradford, Keighley, or other towns with large South Asian communities, and you will find families working hard to make ends meet. Some live in small terraced houses, drive old cars and struggle with everyday expenses. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Life in Britain is expensive, and millions of families face similar difficulties.
The problem begins when people feel the need to pretend they are something they are not.
Suddenly, expensive clothes, luxury cars, lavish meals and generous cash gifts become essential. Some even borrow money or use credit cards to fund these trips, only to return to Britain struggling financially for months.
And for what? To impress relatives, neighbours and people they might only see once a year?
For some, visiting their ancestral homeland is no longer simply about spending time with family. It has become a competition to show who has made the most money in Britain.
Then there is the obsession with building enormous houses back home. Across parts of Pakistan, particularly in areas with strong links to Britain, impressive houses have become symbols of success.
Some are built through years of genuine hard work and savings. Others remain empty for most of the year while their owners continue living in modest conditions in Britain.
Some even go as far as paying people to live in these large houses and look after them throughout the year.
What is the point of maintaining a mansion in Pakistan, complete with paid staff, when you are struggling to maintain a decent standard of living in Britain?
For some, these houses are no longer simply family homes. They have become status symbols, built to impress relatives and neighbours rather than meet any real need.
Of course, there is nothing wrong with building a house abroad, investing in property or helping relatives. These can be sensible and generous decisions. But spending money simply to impress others is a different matter.
Part of the problem comes from relatives who believe that everyone living in Britain is rich. They imagine money grows on trees here. They rarely see the long working hours, taxes, mortgages, rising bills and financial pressures that ordinary British families face.
Unfortunately, some British South Asians encourage this false impression. Rather than explaining the reality of life in Britain, they pretend everything is wonderful, and money is no problem.
There is also an issue of status. Some people who live ordinary lives in Britain expect to be treated like VIPs when they visit their ancestral villages. They want special attention, respect and recognition simply because they live abroad or hold a British passport.
The irony is that some complain about inequality and class divisions in Britain but are happy to behave as though they are better than others when they go back home.
Perhaps the saddest part is the effect on children and families.
Some parents struggle to provide a comfortable home for their children in Britain while spending thousands of pounds maintaining their reputation abroad. Money that could go towards education, improving their home, savings or family holidays is instead spent trying to impress others.
The same thinking can be seen in extravagant weddings, expensive jewellery and unnecessary celebrations.
That familiar South Asian saying, log kya kahenge, ‘what will people say?’ has become one of the most expensive sentences in our community.
It has pushed families into debt and encouraged people to compete with neighbours, relatives and friends over things they cannot afford.
There is nothing wrong with wealth or enjoying the rewards of hard work. Helping poorer relatives is also something to be proud of. But genuine generosity doesn’t need an audience, and success shouldn’t be measured by how much money someone throws around.
We need to ask ourselves some difficult questions.
Why are we so concerned about impressing people abroad while neglecting our financial responsibilities at home? Why do we care more about what relatives think than the comfort and security of our own children?
There is no shame in living modestly in Britain. There is no shame in admitting that money is tight.
The real shame is pretending to be rich while quietly drowning in debt.
When the holiday ends, the photographs disappear from social media and the relatives stop praising us, reality soon returns.
The mortgage still needs paying. The electricity bills keep arriving. And the credit card debt has not disappeared. Perhaps it is time to stop trying to impress people back home and start improving the lives we actually live.
After all, what is the point of being treated like a millionaire back home for three weeks if you spend the remaining 49 weeks struggling to survive in Britain?
