August is an important month for thousands of families across the country. Young people will receive their GCSE and A-level results (13 and 20 August), and I suspect many parents will be just as nervous as their children.
For some families, there will be celebrations, phone calls to grandparents, proud photographs on social media and discussions about university, college, apprenticeships and future careers. Our young people deserve their moment. Behind those results are years of lessons, homework, revision, worry and hard work.
But having spent more than three decades working with young people, I find myself asking a different question. We are helping our children gain qualifications, but are we doing enough to prepare them for life?
Many of our parents and grandparents came to Britain with very little. They worked long hours in mills, factories, foundries, restaurants, taxis and small businesses. They wanted something better for their children, and education was seen as the way to achieve it. The message was simple: work hard, get good qualifications and build a better life.
That message worked. Today, the children and grandchildren of those early migrants can be found in almost every profession. They are doctors, lawyers, teachers, pharmacists, accountants, engineers, police officers, academics and successful business owners. That is something our communities should rightly be proud of.
But I sometimes wonder whether our idea of success has become too focused on qualifications, careers, salaries and job titles. Of course, good grades matter and education matters, but there is much more to preparing a young person for life than helping them pass exams.
A young person can leave school with excellent GCSEs and A-levels but struggle to have a confident conversation with someone they do not know. They can leave university with a degree but have little idea how to manage money, cope with rejection or deal with problems when things do not go according to plan.
The reality is that life does not come with a mark scheme. There is no exam for losing your job, dealing with disappointment, managing a household, looking after ageing parents or helping a friend through a difficult time. There is no GCSE in kindness, patience, common sense, resilience or compassion. Yet these are often the qualities that matter most in life.
As parents, we naturally want to protect our children and give them opportunities we may not have had ourselves. But sometimes, without realising it, we can make life too easy for them. We solve their problems, drive them everywhere, speak on their behalf and step in whenever something goes wrong. Then suddenly, at 18 or 21, we expect them to deal confidently with university, work, money, relationships and all the pressures of adult life.
Perhaps part of preparing children for adulthood is allowing them to make mistakes. They need to experience disappointment, take responsibility and understand that choices have consequences. Sometimes they will fail, and that is not necessarily a bad thing. Some of life’s most valuable lessons come when things do not go the way we hoped.
There are also practical skills every young person should learn.
Can they manage a weekly budget and understand savings, credit and debt?
Can they prepare for a job interview, write a professional email or speak confidently to someone they have never met?
Can they cook a few basic meals, look after themselves and contribute around the home?
These things may sound small, but they are an important part of becoming an independent adult.
We should also teach our children that success is not simply about how much money they earn or the title after their name. Becoming a doctor, lawyer, accountant or successful businessperson is a wonderful achievement, but we should also ask what kind of person they have become along the way.
Do they treat people with respect?
Do they help others?
Do they make time for their family?
Are they honest, kind and dependable?
I would also encourage more young people to volunteer. Helping at a charity, visiting an elderly neighbour, supporting a community group or mentoring someone younger can teach valuable lessons. Meeting people from different cultures, faiths and backgrounds helps develop understanding and respect. These experiences teach young people about the real world in ways that no textbook can.
As results arrive this August, we must also remember those young people who will not get the grades they hoped for. While one family celebrates, another young person may be sitting at home believing they have failed or disappointed their parents. How parents respond at that moment really matters.
A disappointing GCSE or A-level result is not the end of a young person’s future. University is not the only route to success. There are apprenticeships, further education, vocational courses, employment, business opportunities and second chances.
So this August, let us celebrate our children’s achievements, congratulate them, thank their teachers and recognise the hard work that has brought them this far. But let us also ask ourselves a bigger question: are we simply preparing our children to earn a living, or are we preparing them to live a good and meaningful life?
Ultimately, the greatest achievement for any parent is not simply raising a child with impressive qualifications or a well-paid job. It is raising a decent, independent, resilient and compassionate human being who understands that success is not only about what you achieve for yourself, but what you do for others.
